Free Verse Poem

The prompt that inspired this piece of writing required me to empty a garbage bin, backpack, or bag and view the contents as a self portrait using creative writing to turn the image into dialogue.

I dumped out my purse which like many purses, is full of garbage anyways. This was a great opportunity to finally clean it out. What is found in a person’s bag can say a lot about their identity. This is the baggage I carry around with me.

Earbuds: a transportation device. When the room is quiet, the mind is loud. Music can drown out all the noise and transport you anywhere from any place at any time. It can work as a time machine and a mood changer. Music changes everything. It is the ultimate tool.

A broken tampon: useless.

Birth control: regulation. A safety net. Controversial. A human right. A misplaced responsibility. Feminism. Being a female is part of my identity. My sex life should not be. I am not defined by my relationships to others, nor others’ actions against me. I am not any one person’s perception of me. But perhaps that’s all I am to them- a perception, a projection, of themselves onto me. Maybe that’s all any of us are, an idea that is created for us. A vision. A dream.

A paystub: I work at a thrift store. I get 5-12 hours a week and get paid by-weekly. Balancing school, work, and life has been difficult lately. This is a piece of paper covered in numbers. Yet another piece of paper covered in numbers that dictates our lives. Numbers. There’s a number for everything. A sum we must add up to. But the sum keeps increasing along with the needs and expectations. Chasing numbers. We chase numbers day in and day out all our lives. On paper we are numbers. We are identified as numbers- licenses, phone calls, usernames. We chase numbers- dollar signs, milestones, academic accomplishments, and quantities. On paper we are nothing more than another number written in black on a white page. But what would happen if we simply stopped chasing these numbers? How would we live? How would we identify ourselves and each other? What makes us who we are without numbers to compare?

To describe ourselves without numbers is to describe ourselves without judgment. Freeing one another from quantities and equations is to live humbly and honestly. Without using a single number as reference, I am on a journey to find myself. I refuse to find my self-worth in these numbers. To put it simply, I am a creator, a dreamer, a dancer, an over thinker. A student, a daughter, a friend, a woman. A feminist, an advocate, an environmentalist. I have yet to find my interests, my career goals, or my place but I know that I am on my way and that I am in control of all of that. I know that the right things and right people will find me at the right time. I may not know everything about myself, but I know who I am.